Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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