I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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