We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
