Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
