Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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