I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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