I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize