I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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