Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
