Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
