Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
