she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
