They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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