We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
