Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
