So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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