real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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