The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
