Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
