Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
