last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
