i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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