the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
