Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
