I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
