Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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