they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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