brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
