I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
