If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
