I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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