i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
