margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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