I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
