Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So much rum. So many feels.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
