he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
