wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
