bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
