You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
