Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
