Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
