The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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