Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
