Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
