Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
