Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
