Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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