feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
