You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
