your room smells of hookers.
And success
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize