So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
