Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
